Understanding Gain

 Here’s a quick test – ask a member of your sound team; “Is the input gain on each channel of the sound console set properly?”

 This is a basic, fundamental question to ask a sound system operator. If they look at you as if you’ve just spoken to them in Mandarin Chinese, you really need this information!  

Our ears have the ability to hear sound over an incredibly broad range of volume – a soft whisper to a jet engine roar – without adjustment. The range of human hearing is many times greater than that of any single electronic device. If we directly converted the acoustic energy of a whisper and a jet engine into electrical energy, it would be like comparing the energy of a watch battery to a nuclear power plant. No electronic device on the planet can handle this extreme range without a means to boost weak signals and to reduce strong ones into a range that is compatible with the circuitry of the device.  

Microphones, tape decks, mixers, equalizers and all other things you have in your sound system, generate an electrical signal. However the signal level from one (even identical) device to another, can be different. The term “GAIN” describes the strength of these electrical signals.  You must note that there is a huge difference between GAIN and VOLUME. GAIN refers to the individual electrical signal strength of a source – VOLUME is what we hear coming from the speakers.

The GAIN control found at the top of each “channel input strip”, is used to either boost weak signals, like that of a microphone, or, in conjunction with “PAD” switches, reduce the level of strong signals, from a keyboard or CD player.

 Once individual channel GAIN is properly set for each device connected to the given input channel on the console, only slight occasional adjustments will be necessary. You use the “PFL” (that’s “pre-fade-listen”) button - usually found just above the volume fader control – to aid you in setting the GAIN for each channel.

 Your console now takes the sum of all channels and sends that signal to other devices like equalizers, or effects units, and ultimately to the amplifier(s). You’ll need to adjust the GAIN on each device as the signal goes to it. GAIN between devices (between the console and an equalizer for example) is typically regulated by an INPUT LEVEL control on the receiving device.

 Understanding and setting GAIN in a sound system can be confusing if you’re only trying to learn from written information. This is exactly why we offer a one-on-one training service to work with you and your sound team. We show you, hands-on, exactly how easy it really is!

You, or sound team members from your church have possibly attended one of the many “Sound System Training Seminars” which are held in the area. These seminars bring large groups to auditoriums where lectures are conducted to train people how to run sound systems. This method is virtually worthless. Just imagine trying to teach someone to type - just by talking to them….  We have a better way.

Learning to run a sound system demands a “hands on” approach – and practice, just like any other performer or team player. We come to you – and teach you and your sound team on your equipment. You turn the knobs –and see and hear the results.

We help you learn in an easy to understand way – by actually showing you what is going on – and why. Like talking about “gain”, it’s much easier to understand when you can actually see and adjust if for yourself! 

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Discount Catalogs

Discount / Wholesale Catalogs – I bet you have several in your office right now. They sure have a lot of different gear at great prices, don’t they? Saving a lot of money sure is tempting, isn’t it? While the catalogs do show you a lot of equipment, and tell you that you’ll be saving hundreds and hundreds of dollars – you may actually end up spending far more than you bargained for. Really, how so?

There are huge differences in features from one brand of equipment to the next – and the catalog may not reveal all of the information you need to make the best buying decision. They also don’t show you all of the available products from a given manufacturer. The “right one” for you - possibly isn’t even shown.

For example, one has a “24 input” mixer for only $449.97. In reality, there are only 16 microphone inputs. The others are stereo inputs which use two channels each – Yes, you could technically say that the console has 24 channels – 16 mic + 4 (x 2) stereo – but unless you read, and fully understand the fine print, you may not be getting all that you think you are. Always remember one thing – inexpensive (read cheap) equipment is that way - for a reason.

The number of inputs on a console is one thing, but you must also know how many, and what type of outputs are available – and how they work! That same “24-Channel” console offers 4 auxiliary “sends” per channel and fearures 2 built in effects (reverb) units. Wow, that’s a lot, isn’t it? Let’s look closer. How do the two built in effects units receive their signals? From aux outputs 3 and 4 in the console… so? That means you now only have 2 “free” outputs, instead of the 4 you may have thought you had. Well, you can use all four Aux outputs externally, but now you have no means to use the 2 built in effects. If you use two monitor (mixes) and a recorder, that’s three aux outputs right there – you’re already “one short”. But you really saved a lot! Did you really?

Looking at video projectors? By looking at the catalogs, you’d think a 1500 lumen projector would produce a super bright picture. It might – on a very small screen in a dark room – but not on that big screen in your brightly lit sanctuary. How will you control the projector? What type of cable will you need? RGBHV, S Video, Composite, RS232 control, IR Control?  Where will the signal come from? What resolution will you need?

Does this sound confusing?  Yes, sometimes it can be – which is exactly my point. Unless you, or other members of you sound and video team fully understand all of the particular details of the equipment you’re getting ready to “save hundreds of dollars” on, you may actually be wasting money by buying something that doesn’t fit the specific needs of your church, or performs poorly. Is any member of your church an audio or video engineer or sound system designer? How much old equipment do you have in closets? Stuff you really saved a lot on?

A qualified audio/video contractor is able to provide you with technical experience and match the right piece of equipment to fit your exact needs – and sell you the right equipment at pricing usually less than the discount catalogs!! 

The person taking your order at the catalog sales desk could care less about you, or your church – you’ll never see them. And what happens if you buy the wrong thing? Sure they’ll take it back, as long as the product is in 100% resalable condition and lets not forget the 15% restocking fee, and of course shipping.  Wouldn’t it actually cost less to just pick up the phone and have a trained, experienced person make sure everything is right from the start? By the way, 15% of that $ 499.97 console is $ 67.50 plus about $ 50.00 shipping.

Did you consider the warranty? What happens if something fails? Most audio contractors maintain an inventory of backup or rental equipment that can be provided in an emergency. Just try to get a loaner piece of equipment from that 1/800 number. Installation? No, they don’t offer that. You’re buying from a discount sales catalog remember? Service and repairs? What service? They only sell equipment and repairs are usually referred to an “authorized service center” somewhere.  System training – you’re on you own. So, how much are you really “saving”?

Your audio contractor will meet you face to face, discuss your needs, and guide you to the equipment that will meet your needs of today as well as tomorrow. You will be supporting a local business, one that’s offering years of knowledge and experience. You’ll be working with real people who (honestly) want and need your support as a customer. One who will be there when you need them.

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Balancing levels between “live sound” and recordings

Many places of worship choose to incorporate a recording device, such as a CD or tape recorder, into their sound system in order to capture and document their services. If you have ever found that during the service everything sounded great, but upon listening to the recording you notice that it is extremely out of balance or just doesn’t sound very good, then you are not alone.

Typically, when a recording device is integrated into a sound system, it is given a signal straight off of the mixing console as it is set for the event. This is the main problem resulting in the bad recording. The purpose of the sound system is to reinforce the sound that naturally occurs on stage. A lapel or podium microphone may need more volume in the system to be loud and clear enough for the attending audience, where as louder aspects of the service, such as amplifiers or drums in a praise band or a large choir, will need little or no level into the system in order to sound balanced and natural in the room. This is the reason the recording sounds out of balance and unnatural.

The best way to deal with this is to set up separate mixes when possible, one sending to the live sound system, and one to the recording device. This can be done in a number of ways, depending on your mixing console and the options of outputs it has to offer.

One method is to use the auxiliary (aux) sends to feed the recorder. You can then set the desired record level of each instrument or microphone using the respective aux control on each channel. Always note whether the send control is pre-fader (level set by send control only) or post fader (level set by send control, but dependent on position of channel fader). Some consoles have the option of toggling between pre and post fader, and these modes can be set to the position that is most comfortable to operate.

For example, you could use post fader for a podium mic, so when not used pulling the fader down will take it out of the sound system as well as the recorder. Or you could use pre fader to get a stronger signal from instrument microphones that need little or no volume in the live system, or for a room ambience microphone to capture the overall live sound of the event.

Another more advanced method is to duplicate the channels, if you have enough space on the mixing board to do so. If the console has direct outputs on each channel, you can take each signal and send it to a second channel. You could also use a signal splitting device on each signal coming to the board and split each one onto two different channels. Your duplicate set of channels can then be sent to an output that feeds only the recorder.

This technique is a little more user-friendly, as you could configure one side of your mixing console to feed only the live system, and the other to feed only the recorder, or you could even split the signals to two separate mixers.

Creating an independent recording mix is the first step to having real control over the sound of your recording, and it gives you the ability to introduce many advanced techniques that will help your capture of the event sound as true to life as possible. But make sure you monitor this new mix closely (most CD and tape recorders have headphone outputs), because it is a live event that you are capturing, so you have only one chance to get it right!  ~Sean Sanford

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Piranhas

Piranha (as defined by Webster) – a small, extremely voracious South American fish, schools of which are known to attack and devour people and large animals. 

Piranha (as defined by audio contractors) - any of an infinite number of situations, conditions and problems, none of which were planned for, that will attack and devour commissions, profits and in extreme cases, entire companies. 

The “waters” in which audio contractors swim are frighteningly full of these “little fishes” that have been know to cause sever pain and in some cases, death. Yet, for reasons unknown, many in our ranks choose to completely ignore these project labor and cost consuming beast until it’s too late.  As a professional installer of audio and visual systems for many years, you could say that I’ve peddled my bike around the block a few times. (A few???) I have personally experienced “attacks” by each and every one of the following piranhas, some many – some too many - times.  I know they exist. I know they will cause serious harm to my bottom line. I know that if they attack in force, they will cause fatal wounds. 

The “piranha” of which I speak are the situations that affect the labor and material costing aspect of a project which typically receive little to no attention until they occur. The wounds inflicted come in the painful form of additional equipment and labor cost.  The only sources of revenue to cover these “piranha” are commissions, then profits. 

If I added up all of the precious hours of my life that were wasted just waiting for somebody with a key to let us in someplace, we’d all be amazed. This factor alone can add hours (that’s plural, more than one, sometimes a lot more than one) to even the smallest project. 

I have spoken to several others in the industry to get their “take” on piranhas.  Understandably, there is a vast difference in the perspective of these issues, depending on your point of view, or position within your company. For example, if a sales representative were to actually factor in a labor and material cost to cover the (most certainly unwanted) piranha it may be safe to assume that you would never land a project.  Yet, the field installer is all but too aware of their existence. 

Ideally, the customer should be responsible for covering the cost of a project - duh. However the cost to feed the piranha, and they are hungry, comes directly from the contractors pocket.  Only by facing the piranha head on, by proper planning, can these concerns, and the hundreds of potential other problems can be averted, allowing your company to keep the intended profits and to hold labor cost within budget. 

In the estimating or bid process, sales representatives will factor in a percentage of  “MISC” (an understandable and accepted procedure at this phase) to cover the cost of items such as nuts, bolts, screws, wire-ties – items which are universally required on every project but don’t warrant the time to specifically calculate cost.  Unfortunately a bag of 4-40 nuts which only cost a couple of bucks, will bring a project to a screeching halt, force a several day delay and yet another trip to a remote jobsite. Have you bought gas lately? Did someone forget to order the $12 rack kit for the mixer? 

Do the math.  Before the dust settles, those few dollar items will – not might, will - cost into the hundreds of dollars or more. What is your cost to send a crew to a project 3 hours away?  Or worse, I’ve seen “MISC” of less than $20.00 that was intended to cover the entire cost to rig a large number of 80 lb speakers requiring full bore flying hardware.  Guess what wasn’t properly estimated and took a huge chunk of bucks to buy? Whoops. 

One of the best methods to hold piranha at bay is to insure that once the PO’s are issued, “MISC” gets (quickly) converted into real and tangible items. It’s a pain when you need 6 XLR connectors and only have 4 on the truck. Well, we could have finished today, but that’s all right; we’ll just come back tomorrow. The job site is only two hours out of town. 

Unless your installation team works for free (a footnote here - most don’t), their salary meters keep running.  Working, riding, smoke break, going back to the shop to get the drill they forgot, or the parts purchasing had to rush in because they weren’t on the work orders, and all of the other factors (listed below – and more) they are getting paid.  The question is - is your company owner keeping the profits your sales department promised? 

The basic point of this rant is simple: when the piranha attack, someone has to, and will, pay for the extra materials the manpower required – the question becomes who?  If their “attack” was anticipated, there is a fair chance of survival. If not, there is a better chance that even the slightest “nip” will cause uncontrollable losses. 

So who is responsible here? Who are the people best suited to insure that the piranha won’t bite?  Everyone who has anything to do with a project has a roll here.  As a very general rule, the larger the company, and more compartments (sales, design, engineering, management purchasing, warehousing, shipping, field management), the greater the risk to be savagely devoured. Seen it happen. This situation permits every department to point at every other department as the source of failure. Funny, but at the end of the day, everybody did their job perfectly, yet the company looses hundreds to thousands. 

Company owners should have a sit down session with all production personnel, (yes, even the installers) give everyone a copy of this to read and then open the floor for discussion.  Some of these issues raise complex questions with even more complex answers, but that does not make the issues or their consequences go away.  Some are simple questions with even more devastating consequences if the questions remain unanswered, and your sub-contractors, or worse – your own installers – get to a job and don’t have the proper tools, materials, information or knowledge to complete the project.  At some point you DO have to talk about the tutu wearing pink elephant sitting over in the corner doing shots.   Someone, at some point in time, has got to ask these questions  - and have answers. 

The answers are ultimately found in providing a strict level of accountability and a detail of exactly who is responsible for what across the board. A precise “who shall do what” list will certainly vary from contractor to contractor, but one thing is for certain, the field installers aren’t being productive when they have to go to Home Depot twice a day, and spend 2 to 3 hours on the phone with the purchasing agent arguing over the wrong sized rack doors.  Obtaining accurate and useful jobsite information is helpful, but when possible have the actual installers scout the location and provide their insight as to what situations they feel will need to be addressed. 

While this outline covers many, but certainly not all of the piranha factors which must be considered, reviewed, and evaluated prior to an installation taking place, it is imperative that Mr. Murphy, his minions, and the havoc they impart be considered as well.  For example, just today I visited a church where we will be installing a projector and screen. The customer ordered the projector and a “universal” mount from a discount catalogue. Guess what? The universal mount – isn’t. It will require drilling and other modifications. Oh, and by the way, there were no screws to mount the “universal mount” to the projector – and they are metric – and I’ve got to go find them tomorrow. So? The physical action of simply removing a projector and mount from the packaging and assembling the basic parts – something that should have only taken 10 to 15 minutes,  in reality, will take between 3 to 4 hours to complete; and I forgot to mention, the projector was defective too. 

Let’s say the salesman priced a project very competitively – very.  They assumed that your award winning, lighting fast, (close to minimum wage paid) MIT trained installers with jet hover packs would install the job.  But in reality, Bubba and his trainee, the guy who doesn’t speak English very well, who was hired yesterday (he says he saw a microphone once – but can’t spell it yet, or probably ever) was scheduled to do the job.  This factor alone can destroy any hope of bringing a job in under budget. 

The following is (unfortunately) only a partial list of the different species of “piranha” that will take bites out of your bottom line. By arming your installation teams with accurate and timely information, providing all of the hardware, parts and tools required, and being certain that they have the knowledge, training and skills required, will you have a good chance of surviving. 

I trust that the humor and satire will be taken in the light manner with which it is intended. However, the seriousness and implications of each and every part is very, and painfully, real.  With 100% honesty, every single one of these “piranha” have either completely stopped work, severely slowed progress to a crawl, gotten the installers cursed at, or at the barest of minimums, cost the installing company one hell of a lot more money that they ever planned on spending.  Can you say “bottom line”?  Let’s try to spell “p r o f i t.”

Knowing the name of the customer is nice, but it would really help to know the address, street, city, state, country, planet, or star system.  Something to help narrow down the search.

Who is the contact person?  Do they have access and are they even aware of what is being scheduled?  Do they have keys to all areas requiring access?  The contact name we have is on vacation for two weeks and didn’t know we were coming.

There are no riser diagrams or other information as to how to assemble the system. We can go ahead and take a whack at it if you’d like. 

There is little to no information, written description, or photographs to provide for the exact placement of the system components. “Pics” are mentioned on one document but were not submitted. We can put it where we think it should go.  Of course, you and the customer may have differing ideas. 

There is no information regarding ceiling heights, wall or ceiling construction, and access to floor, crawl spaces, or other areas. Is there space above the ceiling in the plenum area? Did you take a tile out and look??  Bet you didn’t!  (Our best hope here is to get one of those “8 Ball” things.) 

No, you can’t run a snake cable under a concrete slab. 

Is there insulation in the ceiling? Walls? (Why am I even asking this?) 

There is a two-foot deep pool of water under the sanctuary because it rained last night and there is a little “drainage problem.”  We’ve got SCUBA gear in all of the trucks – no worries, mate! 

Installers typically only carry standard 6, maybe 8-foot ladders.  Will the installers need taller or extension ladders, balloons, scaffolding, hoist, cranes, mountain climbing gear, lifts, aerial platforms, rigging hardware and equipment, bucket trucks?? That’s OK though - all of our installers have super-human strength and can fly so we really don’t need that information anyway. 

Install a Frequency Band UA . What is a “Frequency Band UA?”  30 years in this business – never heard that one. 

There are 14 things to plug in – in the rack.  The one little power strip mentioned in the list of equipment you sent us. It only has 6 outlets….   It’s just a question…… 

Got batteries?  (Psssst….  they haven’t invented the fusion-powered belt-pack yet) 

There is no list of the specific hardware or other materials, which may be required, and their quantities. One lot “misc” really doesn’t mean squirt.  You can’t plug a microphone into a “misc.”  Tried. Doesn’t work.  And, by the way, it won’t hold up a speaker very well either. Tried that too. 

There is no notation as to the identity of inputs on the mixer or input plates. By what means shall the input plates be labeled? A “sharpie” will work but it won’t last very long. 

Installers are not qualified to determine “appropriate height”. The system engineer must determine this information. Should a (field) problem arise, the installing contractor shall consult with the system engineer to discuss options. That is, if they want to keep their jobs. 

Has a safety factor of the proposed installation been a consideration? No, I will not carry a 120-pound speaker up a ladder on my shoulder. Have the physical logistics of what has to go where, and do we know we’re going to do it – safely – been considered?

Will any specific tools be required? Drilling through walls and floors and be tricky without the proper drill bits.  A 12-inch drill bit just won’t quite make it through a 13-inch wall. I know. I’ve seen me try.  Several times.

There are no specific cable lengths mentioned. Do you take 1 roll of wire or 87?  A half (500ft) roll of #291 will generally not go very far in installing a complete 24 channel sound system unless all of the FOH gear is sitting next to the pulpit.

Is Plenum wire required? I know the PVC was cheaper, but you see, there’s this “Fire Marshal” guy standing here………

(A typical telephone conversation to the project manager from a jobsite)…

 “The system isn’t programmed (pause) No, I don’t know how to do it (pause) Yes, I know we’re in the middle of nowhere (pause) No, I don’t know why the programmer didn’t do it (pause) Yes, I know he’s sick, but the rack was in the shop for four weeks (pause) He’s the only one that went to the school because, you didn’t want to spend the money to send me to the class with him, remember?”

How will equipment be transported to the site? I guess we could strap those 6-foot equipment enclosures up on the ladder rack. But then, where will we put the ladders?  I guess we can make two or three trips – the jobsite is only 3 hours away.

What time constraints will the installing contractors have? What hours can the installers have access to the site?  They told us we could only be in there between services - between 1:00 and 3:00.  They said they told the salesman.

What do you mean, “the extension cord is at the shop? And where’s the drill?”

Are there alarm codes to be concerned with?  We’ve been introduced to the police in several jurisdictions - and they won’t let you pet their dogs. 

Has a work area been designated?   Heck, we’ll just make ourselves at home. 

Are MSDS Sheets on the truck? Yes, they need to be on the truck. No, I’m not making this up. I wish I were.  (That’s “Material Safety Data Sheet” if you didn’t know.)  If you’ve got any – spell  A   N   Y - chemicals, like Windex, solder, or even a grinding wheel or hand cleaner, you can and will be thrown off a job if you don’t have the proper MSDS sheets.  Just so I can type this again, no, I’m not making this up. We were once asked to leave a job because of WINDEXä, the window cleaner! 

Has weather (yes, rain, snow, that kind of stuff) been factored into a labor equation?  If you think I’m crazy, (and that is the subject for another conversation) let’s talk about that high school construction project we did – the high temperature one day was three degrees – 3 – no typo – one, two, three degrees – with a stiff breeze. Installers, like bees, just don’t seem to be quite as productive at 3 degrees. The jacket falling off the 227 because it was so brittle slowed production just a tad too. Better than ½ of that day was spent either over the tiny electric heater or sitting in the truck waiting for the feeling to come back to our fingers and toes. 

Will the installation crew be able to leave unfinished areas “unfinished” or will the space need to be restored to a clean condition daily?   Set the scaffold up, tear the scaffold down set the scaffold up, tear the scaffold down.  You know, if you say that fast enough and over and over again, it sounds like a part of that song “Dirty Laundry.” 

Will there be a secure area for tool and parts storage?  Having to move a full complement of installation and construction gear in and out everyday will chew the butt out of a labor estimate. 

Yes, I know we don’t have extra labor in the project to move that tractor trailer load of equipment from one end of the site to the other, but the construction manager said that the floor guys will be in that room tomorrow and either we move it, or he will – with a front end loader - and send us a bill. 

Is there room for speakers to be installed where requested (such as in the organ chamber) and does the organist or minister of music have a clue that this is the proposed location of speakers?  Have you ever seen or had to deal with an overly irate minister of music? I have – it isn’t pretty. 

There is no specific mention as to the location of a pulpit microphone.  “Best guess” or “suitable location” has been known to make a pastor curse royally.  “Suitable” is where the customer wants it, not where the installer wants to put it.  You can patch a 15/16 hole in the top of an oak pulpit but it really looks terrible.  And I have been cussed out by a pastor – it was really somewhat disturbing. 

The wireless remote antennae are to be mounted where?  No, in the rack isn’t really a good idea.  Will special hardware adapters or mounting plates be required?  What type of cable and connectors will be required?  If you don’t think there are a lot of different connectors out there, just pick up a “Comprehensive” or “BTX” catalogue sometime. Hours of fascinating reading. 

The contact said we would take care of getting power to the rack.  You do know we’re not electricians, don’t you? There are laws about this sort of thing. 

Are blank (rack) panels being provided? They do help cover up unused spaces. You do know what “blanks” are don’t you?

Have all system components been reviewed by engineering for the correct connectors and proper interconnections? Do you think that every truck in our fleet has every connector and patch-cable ever made? I’ve got a crisp $20 bill that says “nope.” 

Is there a location to dispose of trash?  Has this time been taken into consideration? 

Is there a spare tire in the truck?  Gas?  Do all technicians have a key to the truck?  Are all installers legal to drive?  Do they have your home phone number?  That comes in handy so late at night they can call you from jail.

 Yes, the screens will require the mounting bracket. No, I don’t know why they aren’t on the job order. I’m the installer – I’m not the salesman, the consultant, the engineer, the purchasing agent, the shipping or receiving clerk or the delivery driver. Starting at the top of this list, I think you should start asking them.  If you had asked ME, I would have told you, “yes, I’ll need them” – but you didn’t ask me. 

Specific input and output connectors such as an “output jack for radio feed” must be identified as to the specific type of connector and its location.  From what piece of equipment and what signal level is desired?  Mic, line, balanced, unbalanced, XLR, ¼ inch, mini 3.5 mm, RCA, mono, stereo?  Will any type of buffer (transformer) isolator be provided?  Can Bubba even spell XLR?  Did you somehow forget to mention that this “feed” needs to be in the other building next to the sanctuary, 100 ft away over that paved parking lot? 

Has the knowledge, understanding, training and experience of the installers been considered and evaluated prior to sending them out to a job?   We once had an installer attach a wall mounted speaker to a sheet-rock wall (in a restaurant) with a single #8x1 pan head wood screw – directly into the sheet-rock – no anchor of any type, whatsoever.  Before he left the building, the speaker fell. He called the office and said, “The walls were made out of some kind of powder.”  He had absolutely no idea what “sheet-rock” was. 

Does Bubba even own a soldering iron, and if so, would he know which end to hold?  Please allow me the opportunity to discuss, at length, a particular hotel ballroom project I was once involved with.  You would truly be amazed. 

Speaking of Bubba, does he, or his helper, know how to use power tools.  I’d love to tell you about the experienced installer who attempted to install a microphone on a stainless steel counter using a power drill – running backwards!  In fact, I will!  If I had given him another couple of hours, he may very well have finished.  In about an hour and a half, he had successfully gouged (or burned out) 3 out of the 4, ¼ inch holes necessary. You should try and do this sometime just to see how truly difficult it is to drill a stainless steel counter backwards.  You literally have to heat the counter and drill bit to well beyond white-hot, (using only the friction of the bit – and I strongly suggest that you don’t use any cutting fluids as they will only vaporize causing lots of smoke), sit on the drill, pushing with all of your weight and strength, (you’ll have to put several pieces of cardboard between your butt and the drill as it will become rather hot), for about 30 minutes per hole. Eventually, due to the molecular breakdown and superheating of the stainless steel (melting, I think it’s called) a hole will appear. Now, it won’t be quite as “clean” looking as a normally drilled hole, but there will be an orifice of sorts, which a small bolt or wire, can pass. You won’t have to worry about installing a grommet for the wire either. The “hole” will actually be rather smooth once the area returns to normal, cooling from its molten state. Sanding with steel wool may help to restore some of the original silver color.  I must compliment this installer on his drive, determination, willpower, strength, ability to stay focused on task, and absolute sheer stupidly.  Question - How long did you estimate it would take to install a single microphone on a steel counter? Question two – how long did it actually take? The funniest part was hearing him cuss when I showed him how that “forward/reverse” switch worked. I forget how many bits he melted.  (Please forgive me BJ; I just had to tell the world this one!).  PS – I wish I could remember which brand of drill it was. After all of this abuse, the drill continued to work just fine!  What a great ad! 

Does Bubba have a supervisor?  Is he qualified and knowledgeable??  Is he even planning to visit and inspect the jobsite??Is his time cost factored into the job? 

Do the installers understand rigging standards and practices, and do they understand the difference between plastic wall anchors, molly bolts, toggle bolts, and the 12 thousand other types of wall fasteners?  Do they know the different loading factors of “eye rings” and the proper procedure for assembling a wire rope harness? 

Do you know what a 120 lb. loudspeaker will do to someone’s skull if said speaker falls on said skull?  Do you have any idea how much the family will sue for?   I just love seeing my name on legal documents!  Makes me feel – important! 

Has it been determined that all of the equipment is fully operational – out of the box? Remember the projector I saw today?  There is a basic rule of thumb that states, the later on a Friday afternoon something arrives for that rush installation order we got yesterday, the greater the chance there will be an out-of-box failure. 

Is the equipment we rented operating properly?  Thank goodness the fire department didn’t send us a bill for getting those two installers out of that lift that wouldn’t start. It must have been a quiet night as 8 firefighters, 4 rescue workers, and 6 sheriff officers showed up from the 911 call. We should have ordered pizza. 

Let’s see – install an entire fire alarm system in a school 4 hours away. Total labor on the job form - 32 hours - no per diem – no hotel – no gas expenses – just 32 hours of labor. Two men in the truck – 8 man hours just getting to the job, 8 man hours returning. So, if I’ve got this figured correctly, we have just enough labor to drive out there twice – that is if we don’t eat or go to the bathroom.  Somehow, I don’t think there’s enough labor for this project.

16 rack spaces worth of equipment will not, I repeat, will not, I repeat again, will not fit in a 12 space rack, If you ask me again, I will tell you the exact same thing.  And no, I don’t know why the salesman said it would. 

Needless to say, I can continue on with this for an unspecified but rather lengthy period of time. I’ve seen me do it.  There are a lot of piranhas out there – more than you can imagine – and each one of them want to take a bite out of you. 

As another general statement, it is safe to assume that for even a small system rack to be properly and professionally assembled, wired, tested and labeled, a labor factor of anywhere from 4 to 8 man hours is certainly realistic.  There is “done” and there is “done right” and there is a huge difference between the two. And very often, they don’t look the same.  By the way, racks will get beat up banging around in the back of a truck. You can knock most of the dents out so the doors will shut and we don’t think the shop guy was looking at the right drawings when he built them, so we had to completely rewire everything so the system would work properly.  The customer also wanted to know when the new replacement rack would be coming. It should only take a couple of days to swap out and completely rewire everything.

Installers typically do not “tune” or “set up” or “program” systems as that falls under a very different and specific level of training, knowledge and experience.  There was this guy who “tested” the sound system at a high school football field, while school was in session, by playing some “rap hip-hop” (music???) with a parental advisory label on the cover. The customer wasn’t real happy. At last report this guy was looking for a job at Radio Shack

Oh, and please make sure the next time you send us that big Crestron control system, it is programmed correctly, I know you said it was – but it wasn’t. We spent (read, wasted) quite a few extra hours unhooking and testing all of the video lines, just to be sure we didn’t do anything wrong before we found out the system simply wasn’t programmed properly – like you said it was.

System setup, programming of DSP’s, system equalization, and customer training and orientation will be held as a separate element of work from the installation and will be priced separately.  Again, generally speaking, you should allow a minimum of 4 to 8 (or more) man- hours, not including transportation or other costs to the labor base.

Again, please forgive my attempts at being funny, but it’s not really funny when you can’t tighten the bolts on an R2 because you don’t have a ¾ inch wrench.  It will only take a hour and a half to find a hardware store. 

Last question – after everything that could possibly go wrong, and did, how much profit do you think you made?  Your boss just might want to know.

 
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